Tension

Namaste

I had completed my nocturnal activity – work – and got into a taxi heading home.  It was late and traffic along the Beetam Highway was fine until we branched off left towards to the roundabout.  A crane was maneuvering and everyone had to wait.  We waited, and waited.  Finally the brakes lights on the car ahead went off.  Then there was a sound.  The driver said: You hear dat?  He bounce de car.  Like a spontaneous reaction, two men alighted from the ‘bounced’ car in almost robotic fashion.  The front doors opened and both got out simultaneously like two Mr. Smith and approached the delinquent driver.  The driver said: Police.  I thought they might be.  The driver decided to show his skills by making a sharp left turn between those little orange things, driving a few feet then making a sharp right turn, and we were suddenly ahead of the bouncer and the bouncees.  The Policemen in uniform who were overseeing the operations of the crane watched us.  The accident was not our business, no point staying in line to watch.

As we entered the roundabout the driver volunteered an opinion.  It was late and he felt the delinquent driver was sleepy and in a split second his foot came off the brakes and the car rolled forward.  He recounted spending forever to move a few inches in a traffic jam.  He was sleepy.  He admitted to himself that he was sleepy.  He did what he thought best: put the car in neutral and pulled up the hand brakes.  Then he heard a sound.  It got louder.  And he awoke.  The sound continued.  He turned his head to see a man pounding on his car window.  He rolled it down.  The man, infuriated, highlighted the new situation.  The road ahead was clear, but there was a long line behind his car.  It seemed as if he had been asleep for a few seconds, but it was much longer.  He apologized, but was glad that he did not drift off and awake to a car crash.

That was the end, let’s go to the beginning.  Got a call.  One of my periodic clients was back in the country and needed a massage.  I got into a taxi and sat behind the driver.  The safest seat in the car.  Waited for others to join us.  The door opened.  Someone sat near me.  I looked across.  Saw it was someone I knew.  We looked at each other for a moment then he asked if he should get another taxi.  Why?  Said he did not want to offend me by sitting too near.  I told him to allow the next person to sit between us.  Not a chance.  He practically braced me to the door.  So much for not wanting to offend.  I asked how he passed his birthday and he said if I was interested I would have come and look for him.  But I did!  His friend sells at a fairly popular spot, and he is usually there, so in passing I stopped and inquired and heard that he had a new hangout spot.  It was not my fault that he moved.  He rebutted that I had a plaster for every sore.  Silence.

Then he asked: so tell me, wuh cosmic force cause us to meet tonight?  I laughed.  And laughed.  And the lady in the front seat looked at me with disapproval.  Too loud, maybe.  I laughed anyway.  In one sentence we went from physical to cosmic.  Now why would I deprive myself the opportunity to explore this leap in states if he has the moves to back them?  I asked why it had to be some cosmic force that caused us to meet.  He said that was the only language I understood so he trying to talk it.  Hmm, so he has no moves.  He said given we were both off to somewhere, and we did not have much time together (unless I abandon my plan to go home with him), he did not want me to spend the little time wearing him out with high talk, so he was cutting to the chase so that he could say what he really wanted to say before I disembarked.  Hmmm.  The conversation got to where he wanted it to go, but I don’t think he was satisfied in the end because the last thing I heard was that I am a spin doctor.  Yeah?  Next time we meet I’ll try turning straw into gold.

I was half hour late for my appointment.  My client was asleep.  Woke up and opened the door for me then fell back into bed.  Said he felt like a broken toy.  He did not sleep for two days and had a terrible flight experience.  He remarked how people are very tense these days.  He had spent so much time in-flight that he felt compelled to step into the aisle to stretch and was immediately confronted by two male passengers who asked: Is there a problem sir?  He advised that there wasn’t, then proceeded to do his stretches before returning to his seat.  Then he decided to read since he could not sleep and ventured to turn on the light.  The Flight Attendant was immediately on his case advising that he ask for assistance.  He indicated that it was just a matter or pressing the switch.  The Attendant objected.  So, he asked for assistance.  The light was turned on.  He read.  When he had enough he raised his hand and indicated to the Attendant who came over.  He advised that he was through with the light but uncertain whether he should turn it off.  The Attendant turned it off.  Nice service.

When he turned onto his back I felt better as he did not have to raise his head and try to look at me while talking.  I started with his legs, oiling the length of them then backing up at his feet.  His feet were swollen and I spent some time there before proceeding up his legs again.  I spread his legs wide enough so that I was able to sit on my heels between them  and work both simultaneously.  We spoke of sitting by the door on a plane and having to listen to the added duties.  For the heck of it, after the Attendant had properly informed him of his role, he unbuckled his seat-belt, stood, and attempted to execute the required actions.  He was hastily advised that it should be done only in an emergency.  He then remarked that the difference between a Waitress and a Flight Attendant is matter of geography.   There are other professionals who are what they are despite geography and they do not appreciate being spoken to as if they are silly.  He is tired of them talking to him like he is stupid, so sometimes he plays the role.

Then without any notice he became silent.  The room was lit by the crack of light escaping from the washroom, but my eyes had adjusted so I could still see what I was doing.  I looked at his face to see if he had drifted off again, but he was exhaling deeply.  Then he said: I don’t know what nerve you’re pushing…I’m sorry.  Then I felt it.  My hand skid just before it reached his pelvis.  Hmmm.  That was not oil.  The clock on his pelvis must be broken, because it was saying 5:25 the whole time.  I somehow thought an erection was part of the ejaculation process.  Maybe 5:25 is his standard time.  The best part is that he is intelligent enough to know that I was responsible.  I went to do a massage and pushed a nerve instead.  I went to the bathroom and returned with a wet rag to clean up my work space so that I could continue the massage.  I still had his upper body to do.  And as if what happened did not happen, we got back to our in-flight conversation and hugged as usual when I was ready to leave.

There was another conversation happening in my head which would have taken all night had I verbalized it.  The same tension he spoke of earlier.  He has a highly stressful job which makes him a friend of tension, and his impatience with the Flight Attendant was a minute part of it.  Ejaculation takes place quicker when the mind is tense.  Understanding this allows us not to take offense if spontaneous combustion occurs during a massage.  Yes, we are within our right to terminate the session.  I did not feel the need to do that, but neither did I feel my hand needed a protein treatment, so I cleaned up.  It is possible that his tension needs were dealt with prior to travelling, but having encountered major difficulties en route, topped off by the rigors of his job that day, I got the sticky end of the stick.  The suddenness of his spillage could mean that there is need for longer interaction with his spouse.

Back to chakra talk.  From that perspective the emotional body is the opposite of whatever the physical body is.  So the second body of the male is female, and the second body of the female is male.  Together these make a complete body.  Now we can do this two ways, externally or internally.  We are well aware of the external version where I see you and like you and we form a unit.  An absolutely beautiful thing, but it mainly facilitates nature.  Hence it gives us a brief period of happiness and then we experience anguish, fatigue, and/or even remorse.  Yep, there are remorseful lovers.  But we do it anyway, and feel the pain because the happiness is so fleeting that it is over before it starts.  If I was the spouse of my client I would be very frustrated for obvious reasons.  There was no room for anything to be experience it at all.  So the predicament of our physical union is the short-lived pleasure and the pain that follows.  This cycle continues  once the inner connection is not made – an indication that we should try to change one of the variables.

On the flip side, if we turn inward and unite with our emotional body a different kind of unit is formed, one that takes us towards the divine.  A current of happiness begins to flow that supersedes that of the lizard tickling the Teacher.  Actually, this inner flow is one of the offshoots of doing Yoga.  You practice long enough and the instinct for external sex dissipates because the postures awake changes that cause a merging to take place within that completely satisfying and fulfilling.  It is not far-fetched for physical sex to become laborious to a serious yogi, but if you are espoused there are obligations to fulfill.  Kudos here to women, they are known to achieve this easier than men, and some project this so strongly in their aura that their husbands know not to touch them sexually.  Extra-marital affairs can be more than meets the eye.  Anyway, celibacy comes with inner unity because inner unity is a process of meditation and if we are serious about our meditation, we don’t care to be interrupted.  For the record, the celibacy in this case could mean sexual experiences with months or years of abstinence between.

One body for male and another for female is very telling of our incompleteness as a species.  Hence we will always have some form of dissatisfaction.  The point of coming together is to facilitate completeness, yet that leaves us dissatisfied because there are other players.  I may connect with a man whose emotional body (female) is weaker than the physical weakness I display as a physical female.  That will irk me.  Or, my emotional body (male) might seem too aggressive for the likeness of my partner.  So he would object.  And while we believe that we physically see someone and like them, it might have nothing to do with us physically, but rather the emotional body taking the lead and choosing a partner for us.  Problems…quite often we do not like the physical appearance of the person chosen by our emotional body, or they do not match our social status, or some other justification.  So we defend other choices that satisfy our physical senses, parents, friends, whatever, then we spend the rest of our lives in emotional battles because the emotional body refuses to submit to that which we impose on it.  If we are fighting from the inside out we are sure to fall apart.  And we do.  Relationship done.

Inner unity reduces the need for physical sex, but it also eliminates the inner fights because emotional body dissolves into the physical one and a wife becomes a fully female unit and her husband a fully male unit, and the yin and yang settle into their circle.  Another upside of this is that the pleasure they experience when they unite will be without the loss of energy because each of them is a complete circuit and the energy lies within them so that they are more energized from the union.  Sure, there will be need to relax after the act, but that is not the same as feeling exhausted.  In this case each party activates the energy of the other.  For those who can see auras, if they were looking at this couple making love, they would see glowing light that encircles them as if they have one aura because they become a flow of one energy.  A circuit is formed and held.  They are no longer two separate people.  Hence considerable time could pass before there is a repetition of this act because fulfillment has occurred and mere reflection on the moment is enough create an energy surge within the parties and keep them going.  The inner selves will let us know when a top-up is needed.  Forced attempts to recapture the moment will not meet expectations.

Back in 2004 I met a client who reminded me of the Mona Lisa.  He was in his late sixties and looked both masculine and feminine at the same time.  He spoke of meeting a Flight Attendant in his younger years and Let’s Get It On just kept playing in his mind.  He got her attention and their dates took him to many countries, but such was justified because he had tried his hand at many professions (from the Film Industry to Oil and Gas) and needed to be in many of those places.  She was Scorpio and he was Aries and he felt it was the best combination ever.  Every date left them blissfully blistered, and still clamoring for more.  In hindsight he said they were both incomplete and found wholeness together, and in an effort to maintain that wholeness they remained driven by desire despite the physical soreness.  Much later, he married a Frenchwoman, by which time he was more complete.  Thus the bond had its excitement, but he was also at peace with the intervals between such.  That peace was probably made possible by his union with his female self who afforded him bliss without the blisters.

Getting back…  It should be noted that this formed and held circuit does not apply to quickies.  The couple has to be sexually engaged for at least half an hour, whether it’s the hypo or hyperactive version.  I do recall one Therapist’s account of her elaborate preparation for the fortnightly or monthly (can’t remember exactly) sexual rendezvous with her husband.  When they hit the sack the aura gets palpable as they go one and on loving each other.  Usually they do not sleep in the same bed except on these occasions, and they find ways to keep romance alive in their daily routines, but still feel the need for planned relaxation preceding their sexual encounters.  We treasure our connections with stress so highly that the degree of relaxation required for these sacred moments is not often forthcoming.  The result is what happened with my client.  Oops!  Wherever tension is high, sex/ejaculation will be a major form of release.

This is instinctively known, so partners come home seeking their release, and the other partner can get tired of sex, sex, sex, but little circuit-building.  One man said: sex is like a sneeze.  Whenever the nose tickles, we sneeze wherever we are.  It is a reflex action that brings release.  To our spouses we say: Don’t take it personal that we could not hold the sneeze until we got home.  If we’ve been sneezing for more than half an hour outside the home, then it means we are coming home with the other party fully embedded in us because we made a circuit, and the power of that circuit will outweigh the probably frequent 10-minute sex, sex, sex routine that occurs on the home front.  Definitively, one person will have access to our soul, and the other to our assets.  So we are obliged to at least consider what we are doing with our energies.

There is nothing simplistic about these choices.  This was reiterated recently when another client intimated that he could understand why the some Muslims have several wives.  He has one, yet there is a woman he loves who stirs him in ways his wife does not.  He suppresses this desire and heads off to Church with Bible in hand and his wife (of over 10 years) at his side while he intently whispers a prayer for God to rid him of his lust.  Is it?  Why doesn’t the pervasiveness of this behavior in society lead us to inquire into our several bodies to see which one/s are expressing themselves through the physical body this way?  Our physical body selects and eats food with no concern as to whether the other bodies approve.  We even convince ourselves they don’t exist, thus requiring no consultation.  So why is it that we keep feeling that the heart needs our approval to feed itself?  Maybe it tells itself we do not exist and acts as such.

Suppression.  A cute game we play.  It really is a fight.  Anything we are suppressing we are fighting with.  And whatever we are fighting we are close to.  Very close to.  We cannot stay in our houses and fight a man across the street…physically.  So he fights, and becomes exhausted, and finds himself awaking in the other woman’s arms (occasionally for more than 5 years).  And he resolves again to fight the urge the next time it arises.  Then he goes about his life expecting the wrath of God at every turn, but God seems to have others uses for His wrath.  Things remain quiet, and his heart strikes again.  When the sun shines on us we naturally engage in certain behaviours with no concern as to where our shadow is cast.  When the light of the heart shines through us we naturally engage in certain behaviours, but are soon conflicted because we have been taught to be concerned with the size of our shadow, who it touches, etc.  The heart knows that it will never get full play once our intellect is preoccupied with logic of light and shadows.  It gauges the intellect and acts when we least expect.  Sometimes we are glad that we acted spontaneously, other times we feel we have betrayed our value system.  But we have to admit, in that spontaneous moment we are never more alert or alive.